Heroes and Pleas

 

Daddy's Little Girl

What did I do, please tell me
Why have I deserved this from you?
You’re supposed to be on my side
The person I can count on and look up to

I used to be the apple of your eye
Now I’m just a thought you brush away
I never should have gotten my hopes up
I never should have thought you’d stay

What you don’t see is that I need you dearly
My guiding hand to see me through tough decisions
All I have now is a void no one else can fill
A pain-filled, lonesome division

You’re supposed to always be my hero
The one man who will never break my heart
Congratulations, you’re doing just that
Your absence is shattering every part

I’m supposed to compare every man to you
Make sure he has your qualities, your traits
But why would I want someone who ignores me?
Someone who just lets my love go to waste?

I miss you so very much, can’t you see?
I’ve never stopped wanting you by my side
You’ll always be my idol, my steady rock
But ultimately this is up to you to decide

Where do we go from here?
Both of us have to give, and trust me, I’ve tried
So answer my call, respond to my pleas
Dry up these tears of rejection I’ve cried

20 Comments Add yours

  1. jafarley says:

    Don’t let anyone’s opinion or actions towards you, even if that person is your own father, determine your self worth. It may hurt, but don’t let his poor choices and immaturity make you feel guilty or at fault. If he can’t accept you as you are and forgive mistakes you’ve made in the past, that’s on him, not you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so hard, though… He’s supposed to be the one man I can always count on to be there. The one man who I can believe will never hurt me. I can’t help but think that somehow it’s my fault. I know it’s wrong and I shouldn’t feel that way, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

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  2. jafarley says:

    I know it is…But just because he’s supposed to be, doesn’t mean he is. You can’t change that; only he can. There’s tons of parents that aren’t good role models. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love them. But a hero is someone you look up to because you respect them, because they have integrity, honor, and dignity. Don’t make your hero someone who doesn’t have those traits or the lens by which you see the world will always be flawed. There’s plenty of heroes in the world that you can look up to. They don’t necessarily have to be family. And remember that no one is perfect, not even our parents. I think that’s part of growing up is realizing they are just human and don’t have all the answers either. Not saying it is, but theoretically even if it was your fault. So what? You’ve done all you can do to repair the damage. It’s in the past, so why continue to beat yourself up for something you can’t change. All you can do is work towards becoming the person you want to be and make changes in the present.

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    1. You’re right. I can’t do anything more than what I have been doing, and that’s still not enough. So why beat myself up over it? I guess I just hit a breaking point today with it and couldn’t take anymore. Writing this, though, helped to get a lot of it out and off of my chest.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. jafarley says:

        That’s good. Glad you got it off your chest. I know. I can’t imagine how hard that would be. Just realize that even if you were perfect it still wouldn’t be enough. Until he decides HE wants a relationship, it’ll never change. I watched my mom go through this for 20+ years, and it’s just a waste of time, energy, and effort. She’s finally at a place where she doesn’t let it get to her, but she carried that around hoping that if she did just the right thing he would love her. He never did. Not saying you shouldn’t try, but don’t have to get that approval from him to feel good about yourself. Get that from yourself.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. But that’s the thing, I don’t want to be perfect, I know that’s unattainable. I just want to be good enough. And right now, I don’t feel like I am at all. If I’m not even worth a quick text back when I tell him “Good morning” or “I’m thinking about you, and I love you”, then what the hell else can I do? What’s good enough? I’m sorry your mom had to go through this, it’s definitely not something I’d wish upon anyone. At least she’s in a better place now where she realizes that it’s not worth the heartbreak and effort. I’m trying to do that, I’m trying to be stronger in myself that way I don’t need approval from someone else to make me feel okay in my own skin. I’m working on that every day.

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      3. jafarley says:

        Love is not based on “good enough”. If someone has requirements set that you have to reach before they’ll love you, it’s not love. Now maybe you can understand and relate with the predicament that I was in lol. You let them go and walk away from them. I know it’s hard, but there’s no point of fighting and ruining your peace of mind if it’s one sided. Until he reaches out to you, there’s no point continuing to reach out to him if he either doesn’t respond, you’re not a priority, or he doesn’t want to put in the work to fix the relationship.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Harsh words, but I need to hear them and keep them in my head. You’re right, thank you, dear.

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      5. jafarley says:

        I know. You’re welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Nicole!

    I have nominated you for the One lovely blog award. Do check it out
    https://thecopperchick.wordpress.com/2015/12/08/one-lovely-blog-award/

    Peace
    The Copper Chick

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, sweetie!

      Like

  4. Julie says:

    You and Brandon are my sun, moon, and stars… Don’t ever feel like you aren’t good enough for anyone… Love you baby girl !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you momma, I love you too!!

      Like

  5. willytyme says:

    A man who walks out is not considered a man, it may weaken the heart but it makes you stronger as a person. Don’t look at it as heartbreak, someone who does that is doing me a favor, all they did was take out the trash early instead of later. Stay strong because he is the weak one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your comment and kind words… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yay!! Thank you, dearest 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Sometimes we think before entering relationships but wrongly. This happens due to pretence on the part of our partners. What I know is that nothing can separate true love.

    Liked by 1 person

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